Excuse me for a moment.

That’s better.  Now that I found a little release, I can ask the question I find myself asking way more often that I would like lately, which is:  Why in (insert perferred deity here) name are they remaking David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome?”  Cronenberg himself attempted, not nearly as successfully, to revisit similar topics with “eXistenZ.”

Are they going to somehow make it more creepy?  More subversive?  Are they going to replace the television with the Internet, and call it innovative, despite “Pulse” beating them to the punch?  Are they going to make it PG-13, because there’s no way that if it’s even half the film that the original is that it should be rated no less than a hard R.

I am not optimistic.  Not at all.