Welcome to the first ‘Whiny Bastard Edition’ of Screenphiles, where I do a little venting about film makers doing things that they probably shouldn’t.
I was at work when I heard of the latest plan to remake John Carpenter’s “Escape From New York”–which was (essentially) already remade–in space–by James Mathers and Stephen St. Leger’s in their 2007 film “Lockout”–and I had to restrain the almost overwhelming desire to go on a very unseemly rant.
Less for my own benefit, because I have been known to curse like a sailor, than for the people around me, who would (probably) narc me out as soon as convenient.
What bothers me most is that I wonder why Carpenter isn’t being given first dibs. He hasn’t done anything since 2010′s “The Ward,” and I miss seeing his work on screen.
Here’s the trailer for the original film, which if you haven’t seen, rent it.
Now. After all, it’s not like there’s anything worth watching on network TV.
“If more attention were given to character development, “Storage 24” could have been a genre classic, instead of a mildly interesting diversion.”
Horror is a house with many doors, all opening onto the stuff of nightmares. Whatever your interest, be it torture porn, poltergeists, vampires, zombies, and just about everything in-between, you’ll find a place just for you. In this house, there’s also a room for what I like to call survival horror, a sub-genre that deals with a group of individuals trapped by a being–be it human or otherwise–which they have to overcome if they are to escape with their lives.
“Escape” can be relative, though. For instance, I would consider John Boorman’s “Deliverance” a prime example of survival horror, despite the fact that it takes place on a river because the individuals that are being hunted do not know their way around, which in a very real sense restricts their movement.
Besides “Deliverance,” a classic of this sub-genre is Ridley Scott’s “Alien” (which straddles science fiction as well).
Though for my money, quite possibly the best example is found in John Carpenter’s remake of “The Thing” (which, like Scott’s film has elements of sci-fi, though the direction–as well as innovative special effects–are so strong that you could replace the antagonist with just about any monster you chose, and it would still work.
“Storage 24” as an example of survival horror that is in some ways similar to Carpenter’s film, in that there’s an alien that plagues a group of people, who in this case are trapped in a storage facility in central London.
I have been re-reading H.P. Lovecraft’s “At The Mountains Of Madness,” and–as much as I hate to say it–I am somewhat glad that the powers-that-be at Universal pulled the plug (Sure, for all the wrong reasons, but whatever).
Don’t take that to mean that Guillermo Del Toro couldn’t have made an engrossing and terrifying film; I think the man could make a horrifying movie based upon the content of a telephone book.
My problem lies not with Del Toro’s abilities, than the material itself.
A lot of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos revolved around the concept that we shouldn’t be ignorantly venturing into the vast unknown, because if we have no idea what terrors, in our naiveté, lie in wait for us.
This unknown is exemplified in beings like Cthulhu, Yog-Sothoth, among others, who once held dominion over this world, and wait patiently to reclaim that which was once theirs. We measure time by the clocks of our relatively short lives, while for Lovecraft’s creations, millennia are barely the blink of an eye, or the beating of a heart from one frenzied moment to the next.
And that which can eternal lie can afford to be patient.
Edited 10/26/11
For a while Netflix really bothered me. First there was the price increase, which I understand the necessity of, though it was handled really, really badly. Then there was the whole Quikster debacle, and recently not only has the company lost somewhere around 800,000 viewers in the United States, but the stock price has taken a dive.
But I can forgive the first two–and care less for the third because I don’t own any Netflix stock–because today I learned that John Carpenter’s “The Ward” is streaming.
For those of you unaware, Carpenter directed classic genre films like “Halloween,” “The Fog,” Escape From New York,” “Prince Of Darkness,” “Big Trouble In Little China,” as well as “The Thing (not the film which is in theaters now, which considering how mediocre it is, isn’t a bad thing),” “Vampires,” and the list goes on.
Which is not to say that he hasn’t had a few–shall we say less than good films–but when you have done work as great as he has, he’s entitled to the occasional misfire.
“The Ward” has been the recipient of relatively lukewarm reviews, but it’s John Carpenter, and his worst is often on par with some other directors best.
By the way, speaking of “Halloween,” the original came out today in 1978.
If John Carpenter’s version of “The Thing” had not existed, then Matthijs van Heijningen, Jr’s film would have been much better received because, while it isn’t bad, it is not nearly as effective as Carpenter’s film
It’s Not Human. Yet.
The prequel to John Carpenter’s eponymously-named film (with potentially the coolest tagline in years) is coming out October 14th; though if you can’t wait 6 days, I may have found something to hold you over till then.
Dark Horse Comics has issued a free three-issue digital comic based upon the mythology of the film, written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night), that’s available here.
If you’re among the survivors of that terror-filled voyage, check out Universal’s official “The Thing” website, where you’re invited to hunt the creature, download wallpaper, and explore the station.
Though, as far as I am concerned, the website gets serious props for using the music from the original film, composed by Ennio Morricone.
As a little bonus, here are the production notes for the upcoming prequel; though all the “Carpenter love” shown therein makes me nervous because, if the producers admired his work so much, they could have hired him to direct.
Some say that the Internet came into existence to service the needs of porn viewers. Such a position, while debatable, doesn’t go far enough to illustrate how the adult film industry has had to innovate in the drive to attract viewers.
Porn, like any other business, demands a degree of change, of growth, if providers expect to compete successfully and to avoid audience apathy.
This is where porn parodies of already established properties come into being.
Edited 7/21 at 1231
According to Deadline, New Line is dropping the reboot of “Escape From New York.”
This is great news because I can’t be the only person tired of remakes seemingly for the purpose of name recognition and–I assume–because they’re easier to do in that you’re working in a already established universe that’s slightly tweaked (if that).
Based upon an interview with John Carpenter on Bloody Disgusting, he doesn’t care as long as he gets paid, though it’s clear from the tone of his responses that he doesn’t care for the situation.
I don’t think that that “The Thing” will be the final title of the film, though it’s accurate in the sense that’s it’s a prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 cult classic, one can easily mistake it as a ‘reboot,’ which are very popular these days.
The teaser poster is OK, though I think the tagline “It’s Not Human. Yet.” is masterfully done. What it does well is evoke a scene from John Carpenter’s film (itself a remake of “The Thing From Another World,” directed by Christian Nyby–though some in the film community say that Howard Hawks actually did the film), though I don’t think that he has anything to do with it.
George Romero, the writer/director of The ‘Dead’ Films managed to get an Executive Producer credit in a well-done remake of his own film (Breck Eisner’s “The Crazies”), and while John Carpenter has as well with 2005′s “The Fog,” directed by Rupert Wainwright, it was not nearly as entertaining.
‘Why Guillermo Del Toro Is Awesome’ Or ‘There There Will Probably Be An ‘At The Mountains Of Madness’ Feature
image courtesy of IMDb
Guillermo Del Toro rocks. Why, you ask? Sure, it has more than a little to do with him being the director of “Hellboy,” “Hellboy 2,” “Blade 2,” The Devil’s Backbone,” Pan’s Labyrinth, among others.
It also has to do with tenaciousness, and following your dreams, no matter how bleak things may seem (it also never hurts to do the right sacrifices, at the right time.
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!).
As I posted a few months ago, Universal abandoned Del Toro’s passion project, a movie based upon H.P. Lovecraft’s “At The Mountains Of Madness,” a part of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos (an interconnected series of stories that revolve around a common thematic element: horrific alien beings intent upon reclaiming the earth and oftentimes subverting everything that makes us human).
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