“Prey For Help…Because Boredom Kills.”

That’s not quite the tagline for this film, but it’s fitting.

I don’t make movies, which I mention because anyone that does knows that it’s not particularly easy to do, and people oftentimes deserve credit just for the attempt.  I write as often as I can, and while that’s also not easy, moviemaking takes difficult to a whole ‘nother level.

That being said, sometimes people need to know what they’re doing wrong.

And Andrew Hyatt‘s 2012 film, “The Frozen” is just wrong.  It’s technically well-done, but remarkably unengaging (almost as if it’s designed to be so).  I blame the writer, who also happens to be the director, because there’s no sense of genuine menace anywhere to be found.

And I was looking really, really hard.

And the worse thing is that I really wanted to like it.  I mean, I actually paid attention–for the most part–with the expectation that the movie was on a slow burn, gradually building speed.

And every once in awhile something actually did happen, though when it did it was either too cliched, happened too infrequently, or was too uninteresting; sometimes all at the same time.

The movie plays like an hour and a half verson of “The Twilight Zone” episode “The Hitch-Hiker,” except that the aforementioned ‘Zone’ episode is actually pretty creepy.

And I am so not trying to be a douche here because if you’re determined to watch it through the end, you can tell what the director is trying to do, only it doesn’t quite work.

But don’t take my word for it.  It’s currently spooling on Netflix, take a look for yourself.