Resident Evil: The Final Chapter – Official Trailer

Screenshot 2016-08-05 18.35.36

Remember when I did a writeup of the Resident Evil: The Final Chapter Teaser Trailer and all I did was complain about how much I dislike the series?

That hasn’t changed.

Though I find the first full trailer for the movie interesting because it contains various elements from the first movie, such as the laser trap…


and the Red Queen.

As I said earlier, the first movie is the only one in the series worth seeing.  If they’ve got Marilyn Manson back to do the soundtrack, it might be worth seeing.

Now that I think of it, I also don’t quite know how to classify the Resident Evil movies. The first I would call an action movie, though a very horror-adjacent one.

The other movies in the franchise? They’re all pretty much mediocre action films, with occasional horror elements.

Ouija: Origin of Evil – Trailer

Screenshot 2016-07-27 23.51.38.png

Contrary to what some people say 2014’s Ouija–based on the Hasbro board ‘game‘; And before you say it, Yes. that spooky-ass thing is an actual game–wasn’t a bad movie more than it was a ‘Meh’ movie.

And that’s coming from someone who had the misfortune of paying to see it.

It took what should have been terrifying–Ouija, or spirit boards are that all on their lonesome–and turned it into bland, horror-by-the-numbers schlock.

Despite that being the case the movie cost $5 million to produce and earned over $100 million worldwide; which is another way of saying that there’s no way that there wasn’t going to be a sequel.

Though this time around I think that the producers have keyed into how poorly the first movie was received (despite how much it earned).

Because this time around they hired Mike Flanagan, who helmed the far superior Oculus, to direct.

They also increased its budget–from $5 to 6 million for the sequel–so this time around Oculus: Origina of Evil should at least make an impression.

Something the original can’t claim to do.

Blair Witch – Trailer

Screenshot 2016-07-26 18.59.01

Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez’s 1999 movie The Blair Witch Project was an aberration–a successful one, but an aberration nonetheless–that has DNA that leads not only to low-budget horror features like the Paranormal Activity movies but an entire studio, Blumhouse Pictures, built on the model.

And a very successful model it is.  The last movie in Blumhouse’s Purge trilogy cost $10 million to produce, and earned almost $90 million at the worldwide box-office.

That’s a spectacular rate of return, which is why a sequel to the first Blair Witch movie isn’t a huge shock (that being said, there was one released a year after the original, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.  It was underrated, underperformed at the box office and is mostly unappreciated though –despite being structured more conventionally than the original movie–it’s a significantly better movie.

Which isn’t to say that The Blair Witch Project brought nothing to the table.  It was filmed in a manner that at the time was probably considered pretty daring–shot with hand-held cameras, and few of the niceties that accompany more traditional productions.

The problem was that, if you happen to be in a situation, you’re in it.  It’s by definition immersive. An imitation of that immediacy, that intensity is particularly difficult to copy–which isn’t to say that it hasn’t been tried prior.–and more often than not pales in comparison to the reality.

So, to be honest I am not expecting all that much from Blair Witch 2016, except more overt gore because today’s viewers won’t settle for the bloodlessness (never mind the almost nauseating camera work, the ancestor of today’s shaky-cam) that sufficed for the original movie.

The Abandoned – Review

 

The Abandoned is a pretty decent horror movie, though you have to be patient with it because the ending isn’t exactly the culmination of everything that came before.

I don’t mean to imply that it’s badly made–it’s not–but it rewards you for paying attention.

And I have to mention the movie’s cinematographer, Zach Galler, There are some
instances that take place in dark spaces, yet you can tell what’s going on the entire time.

And you may think that that’s a easy thing to do, yet if it were every movie would be able to say the same.

The Conjuring 2 – Trailer

I honestly don’t get all the excitement over James Wan and his ersatz horror movies. As far as I’m concerned, Saw was probably his high-water mark.

The Conjuring? Insidious? Dead Silence? All competently made, all okay movies, though none particularly scary.

This is mainly because what he doesn’t do quite so well is atmosphere, which is key to a really effective horror movie–Sawonce again being the exception, though that works so well because it’s almost claustrophobic–two guys trapped in a single room–more than anything else.

This is why when I hear about The Conjuring 2, I’m mildly interested, and little else.

And the voice on the recorder? My money’s on Ramona A. Stone.

Don’t Breathe – Trailer

Don’t Breathe is an interesting trailer that comes off as the anti-Hush, if you will.

Hush, currently on Netflix, revolves a woman who–if I recall–loses her voice to a bout of meningitis at some point in her past.

She ends up terrorized by a killer and she’s unable to call for help because the aforementioned infection robbed her of her voice.

The point being, Don’t Breathe takes a similar approach, though makes the bad guy–if the trailer is any indicator–blind.

What’s pretty clever is that in one instance the blind man has his prey in a dark room, putting everyone on even ground, which I am not sure that I buy because being unable to see doesn’t mean that your remaining senses are any sharper; so a blind person in a unfamiliar dark room would be no better off than a sighted person in a room too dark to see in.

Though if the blind person were in a familiar location…the equation changes demonstrably.

The Cell – Trailer

The Cell isn’t the first feature that John Cusack and Sam Jackson appeared in that’s based on a Steven King novel or short story.

That honor would have to go to 1408, which came out in 2007; though unlike their last effort–which revolved around a haunted hotel room, which is more in the vein of The Shining–the currency The Cell deals in is of a much more modern variety.

And that’s the ubiquitous cell phone. Seemingly everyone has one, though imagine if they somehow drove people mad (and that’s before you factor in the way cellular providers screw over subscribers that has nothing to do with insanity), though what’s worse is that the newly certifiable are acting as if they’re part of some sort of hive mind.

It sounds like an interesting twist on the zombie thriller, classed up by Cusack and Jackson.