Lightning Strikes, Thor: Ragnarök Roars!

img_0536And Yes, ‘Ragnarök’ has an umlaut and it’s lazy not to include it.

Anyway, last week I made the audacious claim that Thor: Ragnarök would likely join the Billion Dollar Club, the hallowed ground where movies that earn at least a billion dollars go during their theatrical runs roam.

And profits matter because as much as some want to make it all about the quality and watchability of a movie–which are important–Hollywood isn’t a charity and if these expensive tentpoles aren’t going to bring adequate returns, they’re going to stop making them.

And it goes without saying that that’s a bit of a double-edged sword because what applies to the original Star Wars trilogy also applied to the Transformers movies 😭.

I mention this because Thor: Ragnarök has crossed the $500 million mark ($502.3 m) not even two weeks into its box office run though it has to be mentioned that it has done so with little in the way of competition–A Bad Mom’s Christmas is less a genuine alternative than cagey counter-programming–till Justice League comes out in about a week’s time.

It’s worth looking at where Thor: Ragnarök is making its money.  Over $350 million of the $503 million it has earned thus far has come from the international box office–$354 million versus $150 million domestically.

That domestic figure is problematic, though I suspect if it reaches $400 million on this end of the pond a billion dollar run is assured, and ironically Justice League could help as much as hinder that from happening.

Expect moviegoers to initially flock to the latest from Warner Bros and DC Entertainment (ironically enough, on the strength of Wonder Woman, a fortuitous accident because there’s no sign Warner Bros expected her to resonate with audiences as much as she did) but that should only slow Thor’s momentum, not stop it outright.

And if Justice League doesn’t meet audience expectations–all those rewrites and reshoots weren’t made out of overwhelming confidence–which has the side effect of increasing the budget to a rumored $300 million.

That’s problematic because if it makes anything under a billion it’s a well-intentioned failure, while Thor: Ragnarök at a budget of $180 million can reach $800 million and be comfortably profitable.

Though as I have written, I see it going higher.

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Sony Saved by Spider-Man in Second Quarter

img_0328Sony earned $86 million in the Second Quarter of 2017 due to the Playstation video game system and a little movie called Spider-Man: Homecoming, and an even littler movie, Baby Driver.

Spider-Man snared almost $900 million ($875,885 million worldwide) which is a lot of ducats for a movie that was supposed to underwhelm due to franchise fatigue (which is essentially a myth that says if you make crappy movies often enough people will eventually wise up and not pay to see them.  And sure, it might take longer than anyone would like–but it WILL happen).

And Sony might want to consider re-upping their deal with Marvel Studios (especially when they botch their Venom solo movie.  Come now, you know you were thinking the same damn thing).

Isle of Dogs -Trailer

Screenshot 2017-09-21 12.54.32I literally don’t get all the love for Wes Anderson (that being said I have also never sat though a single one of his movies).

There’s something very elite, very pretentious about the man and his films that bothers me on an almost visceral level.

How dare a filmmaker not cater to the masses with more Transformers-like drek?  How dare he bring his own particular style and feeling that makes each of his movies unique?

And speaking of which, where’s the T&A?  All these movies with women being treated like…women is really disconcerting.

Here’s the trailer for Anderson’s latest, a stop-motion movie called Isle of Dogs (and I’m willing to bet that there aren’t any scantily-clad lady bottoms to be seen) from the director of The Fantastic Mr. Fox (which also didn’t have much in the way of scantily clad women).

 

Monster Trucks – Trailers # 1 & 2

Seriously!?  Is there some pent-up demand for a movie that puts the ‘monster’ literally into ‘monster trucks?’  And to be sure, no one knew for certain that the Transformers movies would be the massive hits (reasons to this day, for the most part, beyond my comprehension) they ended up being prior to them being released. 

But I get the feeling that the fate of Monster Trucks will be not quite so grand.  Reason being, the most recent trailer is the second, and that was released about a month ago (I vaguely recall hearing of it, but that’s about it).  

I tend to seek out movie-related things to write about, and I barely had a clue this one existed.  

In other words, the odds that news about it is widely disseminated enough to generate some sort of buzz among the gemeral public are probably pretty low.  


Monster Trucks – Trailer One


Monster Trucks – Trailer Two

If Movie Posters Were Honest – Transformers: The Last Knight Edition

Today Paramount Pictures released a new poster for Transformers: The Last Knight and it’s sort of awesome. 

Though the problem is that all the Transformers movies have had pretty awesome posters, despite the movies sucking (though I’m willing to give a pass to the first movie because we disn’t know any better though as profitable as the other movies in the series have been you’d think moviegoers would have to be learning disabled not to pick up on it). 

So in the interest of honest advertising, here’s a lightly edited version of the same poster that (probably) more accurately describes the movie that accompanies it. 

Postmortem: Pacific Rim (2013)

Screenshot 2016-01-01 14.04.32.pngWelcome to the first post of the New Year!  I figured that I’d go back in time to rewatch Guillermo del Toro’s giant robots versus monsters epic, Pacific Rim.

If you ask me the true test of whether or not a movie is a good one is that of time, namely if it can stand up well to repeated viewings.

And despite the fact that del Toro’s Pacific Rim underwhelmed domestically–the bulk of its $400 billion dollar box office was due to its popularity internationally–it’s damn enjoyable and stands up to revisiting very well.

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Five Reasons Why Batman v Superman Will Not Be As Successful As Some Like To Think

 The full trailer for Batman v Superman dropped last night, and I get a very Transformers-like vibe from it (as in huge special effects in service of a pretty simple story.  And speaking of story, doesn’t this trailer seem to give away a lot of stuff that they maybe shouldn’t have?), which isn’t necessarily a good thing (unless you’re talking about box office, because the Transformers movies have the uncanny ability to get dumber every movie, yet become more profitable).

Though the worse thing is how familiar the trailer feels, with the feeling that Zach Snyder’s goal is to pummel viewers into submission, as opposed to entertaining them.

Though some things bothered me more than others, so here are five off the top of my head.

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