Michael Bay Says There’re 14 Transformers Stories in Development…

Michael Bay says that there’re 14 Transformers stories in development (most of which are probably intended to be made into movies) and on hearing the news something shriveled up inside me, like an organ that no longer served a practical purpose.

So, I guess I’m saying Transformers are the cocyxx of the movie ‘body.’

They have bothered me for various reasons.  One being that you can tell they take serious money to produce, yet there’s surprisingly little to show for all the effort.

I have yet to see a Transformers movie that in any way resonated with me mentally, or provoked a discussion about anything (other than irritation about never getting the time spent viewing the movie back again).

And I also understand that the Transformers are vehicles–pardon the pun–to sell toys, but do they have to do so so blandly, as if the idea of an engaging story were enough to scare off the people who flock to see the movies to the tune of billions of dollars?

Disney does the same thing–in terms of producing movies with the intention of getting toys based on them on store shelves before whichever holiday season happens to be just around the corner–but their Pixar, Marvel Studios and other divisions typically tell interesting stories as well.

Advertisements

Cars 3 – Teaser Trailer

The first time I had seen the Cars 3 teaser trailer was during Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and someone seated nearby remarked:

“That’s pretty dark for a Pixar movie.”

Whoever this astute moviegoer was, he took the words right out of my mouth because not only is this trailer–tonally speaking–dark but it makes the movie that came afterward almost optimistic in retrospect.  

Passengers – Official Trailer

Screenshot 2016-09-20 16.39.34.pngVisually, Morten Tyldum’s Passengers holds a huge debt to Pixar’s Wall-E, Danny Boyle’s Sunshine and Apple’s design esthetic.

In other words, it’s attractive, but doesn’t appear to strike any new ground.

The same thing can be said of the story, which revolves around two people who accidentally emerge from suspended animation 90 years too (or was it?), and eventually fall in love.

As I said, it’s nothing new.

Though it’s welcome that Jon Spaiths wrote the screenplay (Prometheus–before Damon Lindelhof came in and purged it of direct connections to the Alien movies and Marvel Studios’ upcoming Doctor Strange) so there’s perhaps the hope of a mystery (which is at least hinted at) to balance Lawrence and Pratt looking all starry eyed at each other for over an hour.

The Secret Life Of Pets – Trailer

The Secret Life Of Pets – Trailer 1

With voice talent provided by Louie C.K. and Kevin Hart, you’d think that The Secret Life Of Pets would be pretty awesome, never mind funny.

The Secret Life Of Pets – Trailer 2

But if the reviews that are coming in are any indicator, then seeing this movie is akin to flipping a coin: you don’t know what you’re going to get, though it’s going to be either one of two things:

Either  really, really bad or pretty smart and amusing.

The Secret Life Of Pets = Trailer 3

And I have no idea which, but since I don’t particularly care about animated movies–I’ll see something from Pixar (The Incredibles are well, incredible) though I don’t find myself interested in most others, like as the Ice Age or Minions movies.

The Secret Life Of Pets – Official Final Trailer

Then again, Universal has at least $104 million reasons to think otherwise.

Love Disney, But Iger Seems A Bit Douchy

Screenshot 2016-06-15 16.25.12I am a huge fan of Disney, not because of their characters–which for the most part I find cloying and treacly–than the business acumen of Bob Iger, who had the sense to see the value in LucasFilm, Marvel Studios, and Pixar, all of which he purchased; each of which are virtually licenses to purchase money.

Captain America: Civil War is still in the Top 10–that’s called ‘legs,’ baby–despite being released May 6–has earned  earned almost $1.5 billion at the box office, while Zootopia–via Disney Animation–has earned just over a billion.

And you have Finding Dory coming up next from Pixar, and estimates have it opening somewhere in the ballpark of $125 million.

That’s a lot of money.

That being said, what most people think of when they consider ‘Walt Disney’ is probably the theme parks, which is why I found his response to Bernie Sanders, who drew attention to the pay earned by people that work there.

In response Iger asked how many jobs has Sanders created, which is interesting, though sort of silly because that’s not quite how Government works.

Though more importantly, he didn’t respond to Sanders’ point because Sanders was talking about how much people earned who work at Disney’s theme parks, while Iger responded by attacking him for being a Democratic Socialist, on top of asking how many jobs he had created.

As I said, that’s not what Sanders asked.  He was referring to how much people earned at Disney theme parks, NOT to how many people they’re employing because Walmart employs a lot of people too, though the last I heard many of them rely on government programs to make the difference from week to week to pay the bills–because their take-home pay is relatively little–though how much they earn is just as important–if not more so–than how many people they employ.

Disney is making money hand over fist, and it’s about time that they send some love–by which I mean money; love is awesome, but it doesn’t pay the bills unless you’re sleeping with your landlord.  And your cable and telephone provider (though they’re probably the same)–their workers way because THOSE WORKERS ARE DISNEY, and should be treated as such.

Finding Dory – Trailer 2

Before watching the latest trailer for Pixar’s Finding Dory I was prepared to not like it.

After all, I find Ellen DeGeneres’ voice irritatingly ingratiating and in this particular context so saccharine cute that if I were diabetic I’d be worried about falling into a coma.

That being said, the trailer is pretty captivating. The animation is oftentimes so life-like, the motion of the various sea creatures so fluid that the if it weren’t for their anthropomorphic tendencies they’d approach the photo-real.

As it stands I still think that DeGeneres overdoes it a wee bit, but the movie is filled with so much wonderfulness–typically of the CGI and voice-talent variety–that it’s easy to overlook relatively minor issues.

Business Insider Has Already Named Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur a Failure, Which Isn’t Quite True

According to Business Insider, Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur is the company’s first box office failure, though that’s not quite true (not yet, at any rate).

The reason being, the movie has only been out thirteen days, so it’s a bit too early to tell.  Ironically, the Variety article that the Business Insider article links to is closer to truth, which is namely that it’s underperforming, especially compared to past Pixar movies.

But that’s not the same as failure (despite the fact that some pretty huge movies, like Star Wars: The Force Awakens are preparing to suck all the oxygen out of the box office) though what it also isn’t is as dramatic a headline.

And that’s problematic because it’s not unusual for a person to not see a movie on the strength of whether or not they believe it’s going to be in the theaters in the next week or two.

Which is what makes what Business Insider did not so cool.