While I wouldn’t call myself a fan of Mötley Crüe, they had some really awesome songs, like Looks That Kill, Dr. Feelgood, and Home Sweet Home.

And they’ve lead undeniably controversial lives (and I mean that).

Yet why is The Dirt so boring? It’s filmed like a sitcom and the characters have more motivation than Lex Luthor in Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice, though not by much.

Everyone is so shallow and that’s okay but who wants a movie where everyone–literally everyone–is shallow and uninteresting? This movie manages the virtually impossible: It makes heroin boring!

I’m not claiming that drug use is good, but it’s usually depicted at least as interesting! If it were boring I get the feeling that it would be less of a problem that it is.

Nothing that the Crüe does feels like it has any stakes at all, which makes you wonder why you should even bother.

Or at least I did.